Spangels Back After 12 Month "Rest"

Spangels FC are returning to the hallowed turf this weekend as they participate in their first competition, since the ill fated jaunt into the world of Monday night 6-a-side at Braintree Leisure Centre.

The Sporting 77 Annual 6-a-side tournament provides Spangels with the ideal opportunity to blow 12 months-worth of cobwebs away. And what a squad they have assembled to enter this prestigious competition;

Ian "Crayzy" Pritchard - Manager, Secretary & General Organiser. At 31 will struggle to keep up with the younger opposition, but as the pace fades the dirtier the tackles become...

Daniel "Fudge" Lowe - Best Jan Molby impersonation since... Jan Molby! Dancing feet ready! Calf strain ready! Oxygen ready!

Craig "Rammer" Ramsay - Michelin man literally fills the 6-a-side goal these days. Should get plenty of practise during competition and therefore likely winner of "Spangels Player of Tournament", even at this stage!

Chris "Stealth Wealth" Lynch - Passed late fitness test on wrist (well, the Doc' said it was OK last week), which severely reduces Spangels chances of success... Unlikely to score, unlikely to pass, but likely to catch one sweetly on the volley and knock it out for a throw.

Daniel "Leo" Sayer - 40-odd veteran. Still possess the Sayer shuffle, which always leaves the opposition flummoxed. Odds-on for a booking as temper flares. Will he be back next year? Of course!

Paul "Whites" Whiteman - Still prolific, still skillful, still wondering why he plays for this bunch of no-hopers?! Whites will no doubt end up Spangels leading scorer, which isn't saying much given the competition!

Martin "Mud-splat" Parrett - Late call-up for veteran Spangel. May need time to adjust to pace of the game. And once he's got up to the snails' pace Spangels will muster, he's then got the speed the opposition will be playing at to worry about! Mud on forehead obligatory...

"Lil" Gareth Babet - Drunken pub' encounter signing. Likely to offer Spangels pace (in fact, he's the only one who can achieve more than a stagger). Must be desperate for a game to volunteer! Smile will fade as reality sets in.

No doubt many of the non-participating Spangels will now be regretting their unavailability for this football festival. And with the bookies already installing Spangels as first-round departure certainties, they'll certainly have no pressure as they stride out at 9am on Sunday.

Wealth, honour and fame await...

(Actually, there's no wealth - in fact each player will be out of pocket because of the match fee. Honour will quickly be replaced by shame at their final group standing. And fame! This is the Sporting 77 6-a-side tournament for Christ sake!!)