Casuals Come Calling... And Regret It!

Valley Swifts 18 Casuals (Spangels) 0 - 14th December 2008

They were desperate - 'king desperate. So desperate in fact they would've snogged Kerry Katona. And it was a sad sight.

The once mighty Casuals; founded in 1991, sister club of Spangels FC, 2007/2008 BNESL Division One Champions were near enough finished. The last rites had been read. In a moment of madness Ian "Crayzy" Pritchard had stepped in to administer CPR, but ultimately it was too late...

However, there was a final chance for some former Casolians to pull on their boots and make one last stand. The only trouble was, they picked the reigning BNESL Premier Division Champions, made up of Witham Town FC first teamers, to do it!

Having already lost 12-1 earlier in the season with a much stronger team, the odds were so firmly stacked against Casuals that William Hill had stopped taking bets on a double figure scoreline in favour of Valley. Crayzy, desperate to save Casuals from their impending fate had brought in the big hitters (or should that be shitters) to scramble out the require eleven. Unfortunately a quick count up in the changing room found that in fact he'd only managed ten - oh well, "once more unto the breach dear friends, once more".

Fudge pulled on the gloves, having spent a record £80 on Spurs Gomes' kit, an absolutely absurd investment in the circumstances! Lynch was back on the right of defence, with Casual regular Lee White on the left. Craig Smith and Crayzy held the centre of defence. Justin Wells, Casuals longest serving remaining player, was in the middle with a surprised Alex Crow. Dan "Ageing" Sayer was on the right one more time, with Chris "Borrowed from Panfield Pirates" Putt on the left and Alex's mate James Something-or-other up front.

Kick-off was delayed by 30 minutes or so as Casuals sobbed in the dressing-room, but eventually the game got under way. And firmly they held for a good 20 minutes as Valley struggled to cope with the sheer farcicalness of it all! Fudge demonstrated he still had "it", whatever "it" is, with a fantastic low save after a minute or two and Casuals mounted an attack of their own, getting the ball just over the half-way line by at least five yards! The inevitable happened, though, with Valley taking the lead via a deflected effort (typical) and by half-time they'd rattled in seven for no reply.

The second half is best forgotten, so I will not dwell on it other than to say eleven more were shipped, as the pitch became a mud bath.

The lethal injection was delivered to Casuals just days later as Crayzy accepted that things had run their course. A sad day for all.

Team : Lowe, Lynch, White, Smith, Pritchard, Sayer, Putt, Wells (c), Crow, ?.

Casuals MOM : Dan Lowe (the first 'keeper to ever win MOM whilst letting in 18!)